 Journal
(most recent entries appear at the top of the page; scroll down for earlier postings)
September 6, 2008
It has been some time since I have written here - a most hectic but enjoyable summer. There have been some changes in the fall workshop line up. I hope you'll take a few minutes to visit the "Workshop" page by clicking the banner at your left.
September 5, 2008
"The true lover seeks the good of his beloved which requires especially the liberation of the beloved from the lover."
-Anthony de Mello
May 22, 2008
"Mutterings over the graves of soldiers"
On Memorial Day we'll hear about men who gave their lives for their country, but many lives were not given, they were taken, and taken stupidly and carelessly.
By Garrison Keillor
http://www.salon.com/opinion/keillor/2008/05/21/memorial_day/index.html
May 15, 2008
Here are three poems by the late William Stafford. I was asked to share these at the recent LPCA Convention during a workshop on Experiential Group Psychotherapy. Enjoy Stafford's wisdom. Stafford wrote daily. The final poem here, "The Way It Is," was written three weeks before his death.
Peace be with you.
"A Ritual to Read to Each Other"
If you don't know the kind of person I am
and I don't know the kind of person you are
a pattern that others made may prevail in the world
and following the wrong god home we may miss our star.
For there is many a small betrayal in the mind,
a shrug that lets the fragile sequence break
sending with shouts the horrible errors of childhood
storming out to play through the broken dyke.
And as elephants parade holding each o thers tail,
but if one wanders the circus won't find the park
I call it cruel and maybe the root of all cruelty
to know what occurs but not recognize the fact.
And so I appeal to a voice, to something shadowy,
a remote important region in all who talk;
though we could fool each other, we should consider -
lest the parade of our mutual life get lost in the dark.
For it is important that awake people be awake,
or a breaking line may discourage them back to sleep;
the signals we give - yes or no or maybe -
should be clear: the darkness around us is deep.
"A Story That Could Be True"
If you were exchanged in the cradle and
your real mother died
without ever having told the story
then no one knows your name,
and somewhere in the w orld
your father is lost and needs you
but you are far away.
He can never find
how true you are, how ready.
When the great winds comes
and the robberies of the rain
you stand in the corner shivering
The people who go by -
you wonder at their calm.
They miss the whisper that runs
any day in your mind,
"Who are you really, wanderer?"-
and the answer you have to give
no matter how dark and cold
the world around you is:
"Maybe I'm a king."
"The Way It Is"
There's a thread you follow. It goes among
things that change. But it doesn't change.
People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread.
But it is hard for others to see.
While you hold i t you can't get lost.
Tragedies happen; people get hurt
or die; and you suffer and get old.
Nothing you do can stop time's unfolding.
You don't ever let go of the thread.
All by William Stafford
May 12, 2008
All the following quotes are stolen from The Sun Magazine, May 2008.
Peace
Don't put your faith in anyone. You have it all inside you.
You're always asking the masters. Why don't you ask yourselves? Forget the masters.
-J.Krishnamurti
Sit at the feet of the master long enough, they start to smell.
-John Sauget
There's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.
-Leonard Cohen
May 7, 2008
"The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/5484/Gib15.htm
Chapter 15
And the priestess spoke again and said:
"Speak to us of Reason and Passion."
And he answered saying:
Your soul is oftentimes a battlefield, upon which your reason and your judgment wage war against passion and your appetite.
Would that I could be the peacemaker in your soul, that I might turn the discord and the rivalry of your elements into oneness and melody.
But how shall I, unless you yourselves be also the peacemakers, nay, the lovers of all your elements?
Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul.
If either your sails or our rudder be broken, you can but toss and drift, or else be held at a standstill in mid-seas.
For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction.
Therefore let your soul exalt your reason to the height of passion; that it may sing;
And let it direct your passion with reason, that your passion may live through its own daily resurrection, and like the phoenix rise above its own ashes.
I would have you consider your judgment and your appetite even as you would two loved guests in your house.
Surely you would not honor one guest above the other; for he who is more mindful of one loses the love and the faith of both.
Among the hills, when you sit in the cool shade of the white poplars, sharing the peace and serenity of distant fields and meadows - then let your heart say in silence, "God rests in reason."
And when the storm comes, and the mighty wind shakes the forest, and thunder and lightning proclaim the majesty of the sky, - then let your heart say in awe, "God moves in passion."
And since you are a breath In God's sphere, and a leaf in God's forest, you too should rest in reason and move in passion.
April 23, 2008
Glorious spring morning with the azaleas dancing toward May. Email box down to 124. Could life be any sweeter, more rich or ecstatic?
The Reconciliation Retreat for Women and Men with Elizabeth Katona was such a blessing. It is only now that I am able to contain the joy of shared wounds and blessings, of deep ceremonial work and the offering the participants prepared for the universe. Forgiveness and Unfathomable Love are, indeed, the pervasive bonds of the universe. Life is supporting the Sacred Marriage within each of us. We are the vehicles of renewal, transformation and co-creation.
As we left the ceremonial space for our lunch meal together on Sunday, we discovered at the door step to our ceremonial lodge 2 lovely lizards performing the Great Rite (as my neo pagan friends express it). Perhaps from now on the Gender Reconciliation retreat will be presented by Copulatin' Lizard Productions (just kidding).
 
Mountain flora: Jack in the Pulpit, Little Sweet Betsy
From the Gender Reconciliation Retreat
March 24, 2008
Random thoughts:
Mid morning snow flakes post Easter. All things are not possible, yet the world is continually opening to it's own resurrection. It is absolutely immeasureable grace that someone called "Phil" is witnessing this.
I have lately been cofacilitating a spiritual practice group in my faith community. I am reminded that spiritual practice is dangerous; it alters one's living. Unforseen horizons appear because we first believe and then put into practice the leap of faith. To paraphrase Goethe, "When one is committed, then Providence moves, too...All manner of unforeseen meetings and occurences arise that would not have done so otherwise..."
Spending 3 or 4 hours in contemplation and study, in adoration and amazement, a day are not nearly enough. How can I open to the continual flood of Mystery? How is it that this "...little vessel without lights..." (Galway Kinnell) contains Infinite Love?
Peace.
February 28, 2008
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And to know the place for the first time.
--T.S. Eliot
Peace.
February 21, 2008
I am saddened to report that one of the psychotherapeutic lights in our world, Dr. Mike Arons of the University of West Georgia's Department of Psychology, died on Monday. You may visit the following link to access tributes and contributions from Mike: www.westga.edu/~psydept. Memorial service is tomorrow at 4 PM on the
West Georgia campus.
I never knew Mike. However, I have had wonderful relationships of many years with collegues from West Georgia and have supervised a number of his students in post grad. He was an extrordinary human by all accounts.
Shalom, Mike. And peace be with you all.
February 18, 2008
Be patient toward all that is unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.
-Rainer Maria Rilke
February 16, 2008
A morning of solitude and sunrise at Arabia Mountain, south Dekalb county, GA. We so devalue our precious connection to creation and the clarity that aloneness, silence brings.
A poem from the beginning of the year:
Trio, Embodied Love
Sparrows bracing in the frigid
Atop unadorned, naked crepe myrtle
Quiet and puffed feathers as respite.
Friend cats softly chatter at them
Amid antique dust bunnies, forlorn Christmas tree
Light streams and travel companions – old books and jazz records.
There are times when I survive
Without infantile longings for incantations of
make believe salvation
The cold creaks all things, even – especially – me.
I honor and preen my ruffled feathers
As I stumble towards eternity
There is one way – to embody God’s Love – to surrender.
I don’t know how to love
And it is all I can do
All stillness, gentle silence and awe.
pf 01/03/08
Peace be with you.
February 15, 2008
A wonderful day - partly cloudy, frequent sun emergings, mild temperature. How fortunate to be alive.
My apologies for the length of time between posts. My wife has had some surgery, the holidays were upon us and then computer gremlins attacked my web software.
Elizabeth and I are so gladden by the response to the Healing and Reunification Retreat upcoming in April (see the October 12, 2007 entry directly below for more details). Only a few spots remain. We must notify our retreat site of our final attendance count by March 1. Please contact us as soon as possible about attending.
I am also pleased to announce that Elizabeth and I have been chosen by the American Academy of Psychotherapists to present the Gender Healing Retreat at their national convention in November, 2008. For further info go to: www.aapweb.com. Unfortunately, this does mean we will be facilitating the GHR for the general public ONLY in April, 2008.
More soon. Peace be with you.
October 12, 2007
Announcing the
Healing and Reunification Retreat for Women and Men
After a year of sabbatical from presentations, workshops and retreats, I am delighted to share with you this upcoming ceremonial weekend. April 6 - 8, 2008 I will be co-facilitating a retreat entitled Healing and Reunification for Women and Men. For most of my professional life I have been deeply engaged with gender issues. I am pleased to offer this weekend retreat as a way to profoundly influence our individual and collective healing around our sacred feminine and masculine.
It should be noted that this retreat is not therapy or mental health in intention. We seek to gather women and men with true desire to own and transcend the modern (and not so modern) difficulties that keep us apart, from loving one another in authentic, evolutionary ways.
My co-facilitator is Elizabeth Katona, a body and healing arts therapist with over thirty years of experience as a healer, ceremonialist and servant of the angelic realms. I know Elizabeth primarily from shamanic studies and circles, as well as therapeutic work. I am excited and honored that she has agreed to collaborate with me.
This retreat will be held at a conference center in the North Georgia Mountains - just in time for spring! Our accomodations are nestled in the woods adjacent to a babbling stream. The setting will provide a safe and tranquil haven for our time together.
Please click here for more information. Participation is limited. I encourage you to register as soon as possible. This insures your space in the workshop and maintains the low cost of the entire weekend.
Peace be with you.
October 8, 2007
Someone asked me today about the popular Serenity Prayer. Here it is in its entirety:
Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.
Amen.
- Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)
Peace be with you.
October 8, 2007
A client brought in this lovely prayer to share with me last week:
Dear Father in Heaven
We come before you with questions deep within our hearts.
We have hurts that need to be healed.
We have sins that we need to accept your forgiveness for.
Give us your grace to persevere so that we might receive your answers.
We realize that living in the light of your spirit
Provides us with peace and a pathway to heaven.
Gift us with perserverance
So that each week we might gather togehter in community
To receive the graces, the gifts, and the answers
That you have in store for us.
-Author unknown
Peace be with you.
September 30, 2007
Today is the 800th anniversary of the birth of the poet Rumi.
Birdsong brings relief
to my longing.
I am just as ecstatic as they are,
but with nothing to say!
Please, universal soul, practice
some song, or something, through me!
* * * * * * * * * *
The way of love is not
a subtle argument.
The door there
is devastation.
Birds make great sky-circles
of their freedom.
How do they learn it?
They fall, and falling,
they're given wings.
* * * * * * * * * *
The Waterwheel
Stay together, friends.
Don't scatter and sleep.
Our friendship is made
of being awake.
The waterwheel accepts water
and turns and gives it away,
weeping.
That way it stays in the garden,
whereas another roundness rolls
through a dry riverbed looking
for what it thinks it wants.
Stay here, quivering with each moment
like a drop of mercury.
(All from Coleman Barks, "The Essential Rumi,"
© 1995, with my apologies to Coleman for copyright infringement. See www.colemanbarks.com).
Peace be with you.
September 6, 2007
Today a client reminded me (or did it "bring her in?") of these words from Thomas Merton:
"My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following Your will, does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please You does - in fact - please You. And I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this, You will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore, will I trust You always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for You are ever with me, and You will never leave me to face my perils alone."
Peace be with you.
August 16, 2007
From a client:
The world is not respectable; it is mortal, tormented, confused, deluded forever; but it is shot through with beauty, with love, with glints of courage and laughter; and in these, the spirit blooms...
- George Santayana
August 6, 2007
St. Theresa's Prayer
May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.
July 30, 2007
This is a bit of self disclosure that I normally do not indulge myself in this journal. However, today is a special day in my life. 30 years ago today, I married Kathy, my second wife and the mother of our two children.
What is important for me to say here is that marriage is ultimately a sacramental engagement into Mystery, as potent as any ceremony, healing work or depth psychotherapy with which I have ever been involved. My conceptualization and experience of love (and, yes, Love) has been impacted most in life by my relationship with my partner.
Through our unfolding love (which mirrors Love's unfolding of Life itself) I have come to deeper embodiement of forgiveness, reconciliation, shadow, grace and redemption. We think love is something we feel or fall into. Rather, Love is something that has us, does us, comes through us and takes us into it's sweet confidence.
As Clarissa Pinkola Estes said in her profound book, "Women Who Run With the Wolves," "If it is love we are making...we are willing to touch the not-beautiful in another, and in ourselves," and "There is an immortal soul-to-soul connection that we have little ability to describe or perhaps even to decide, but that we experience deeply." (© Estes, 1992, Ballantine Books).
Committment and the discipline of relatedness over time reflects Eternity's steadfast Love for us. Thanks, K.
Peace be with you.
July 25, 2007
Albert Ellis, imminent shaper of modern psychotherapy died yesterday, 93 years old, I believe. Although I have had some exposure to Ellis' Rational-Emotive-Behavioral Therapy (REBT, the forerunner of cognitive therapy) I never saw the man personally. He was reported to be a direct, often abrasive, profanity laden therapist who held clients accountable for their choices. Some truth in that. After spending much of his career derided by the more traditional, Freudian based psychotherapists, since the mid '80s, Ellis was honored for his contributions to the evolution of psychotherapy.
Personally, I list cognitive work below the contributions of Jung and Rogers. While it is extremely valuable to be clear about how we think about ourselves and life, it is more important, imho, how we relate to one another (warts and all - that is, Rogers contribution) and how we relate to the forces, archetypes that are larger than us (Jung). By all accounts, Ellis was a free thinker, libertine and an original. Fair thee well, Dr. Ellis. God speed and thanks.
July 19, 2007
I have recently been reading the poetry of William Stafford in preparation for a sermon I am to give. The following line is from a poem Stafford wrote on the day he died in 1993.
"You don't have to prove anything. Just be ready for what God sends."
I hope you are listening and prepared for what God sends today. Peace.
June 27, 2007
The quintessential human quality of silence is virtually absent in our culture. Below is a poem from my friend Helen which captures the central longing, waiting, stillness aspect of our being. Enjoy.
“Listening for God”
In silence I sit
With Hope,
The Holy Spirit will
Come for a visit.
I long to hear
I will obey.
I bend my will
To the Father's Call.
My time
Is not mine.
It belongs
To a Higher Plan.
God does quietly enter
With gentleness
He tenderly says
Be still, Listen.
Then I will speak.
- Helen Hill Easley
June 26, 2007
June 14, 2007
"I want to do with you what the spring does with the cherry trees."
- Pablo Naruda
There are a number of things stirring within my life. My dear friend Carl McColman and I have decided to resume the Waters of the Soul Spiritual Retreat © , tenatively scheduled for November 7, 8, and 9, 2008 at the Monastery of the Holy Spirit in Conyers, Georgia. More details will follow in the coming months. As previous, this is a true interfaith contemplative retreat, using silence, meditaion, poetry and ceremony. The gathering facilitates clarity of purpose and direction with one's spiritual path and allows us to humbly experience the Unitive Path that is core to all religious traditions. This is both personally and globally healing. It is the contemplative traditions of all the world's faith walks that is our best hope for a peaceful planet.
Also in the planning stages (for spring 2008) is a weekend retreat on the reconciliation of the sexes. I will be co-facilitating this work with Elizabeth Katona, LMT. I know Elizabeth from shamanic studies and I am so honored that she has elected to work with me. She is a gifted energy healer of the highest order and I am grateful she has chosen to lead this reconcilitory retreat. This will be a time of sacred space for confession, reconciliation, blessing and grace between the genders.
Information will be on the "Workshop" page of this site by fall 2007. As many of you are aware, I have taken a working sabbatical from presentations in 2007 to listen, refocus and recharge. This time has been invaluable to me and the emerging proof is the retreats I have mentioned. Again, more to come.
Peace be with you.
May 30, 2007
Welcome. Although this website has been active for a year I am just now turning my attention to the online journal. As I have recently moved my office and am on sabbatical from workshop presentation this year, it felt like an appropriate time to begin sharing here.
My intent with the journal is to episodically share thoughts, feelings and resources about the psychotherapeutic pilgimage. I elected not to have a blog on my professional site because ethically I am required to provide a certain context/sacred space for doing the therapeutic work with my clients. Online interaction via a blog can be an enjoyable pasttime; I frequent several on an almost daily basis. However, as a therapist I want to insure safety for my clients. So it is my professional decision not to have contact with clients through a blog.
In this journal you will find quotes, poetry, musings and reflections. You will, perhaps, catch some glimpses of the life of one professional therapist and minister. I hope that you will find my humble rantings and questioning supportive of your own life walk.
Peace be with you.
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